Two Questions
by Slasher99
Summary: Warning! Destiel Fanfic! After one night talking to Castiel, Dean realizes he feels something for him... Will Dean realize what is this feeling? Will Castiel understand Dean's feelings toward him?
1. Late Night

(Barry's Motel – Somewhere)

Dean? – Whispered Castiel with a bit of melancholy in his voice, Dean was taking a nap on a couch – Dean? Are you asleep?

Yes, Cas – Said he a little drowse, standing up and rubbing his eyes… - Which time is it?

It's midnight – Said Cas looking at Dean, his blue and deep eyes staring at him it felt like home – I need to talk

So talk Cas – Said Dean a little grumpy, he opened his eyes to see Cas standing there like always – Sometimes I forget you freaking angels don't sleep.

Dean – Said Cas looking at him, his silence spoke much more than he wanted – Do you remember the first time we met?

Why are you asking that out of the blue Dude? – Said Dean opening the refrigerator door, Sam was sleeping on the bed, Dean didn't remember how he slept on the couch – Yes, I do… You scared the freaking hell of Bobby and me, what about it?

Why did you tried to kill me? – Said Castiel still staring at Dean while he sat and drunk a sip of a beer

That's old, Cas – Said Dean now curious, he looked right at the angel, Cas wouldn't give up until he gave him a real answer, Dean knew that – We were scared.

Why? – Asked Cas, for one second he was like a child, his eyes wide filled with curiosity

I dunno Cas, you seemed to me like a monster… or a Super demon – Said Dean a little upset – Why in the hell you want know about that?

Castiel just stood there in silence looking at Dean's face, searching in his green eyes for something, after a long pause he said looking at the window – Do I still look like a monster to you? Dean?

Dean took another big sip of beer and looked at Castiel – No – said Dean looking at him again – I didn't know you that time Cas, what brought this up?

I shouldn't have disturbed you, I'm sorry Dean – Said Cas looking away again and there was something definitely wrong with him.

Hey, don't go disappearing on me now dude! – Said Dean putting his right hand on Cas shoulder making eye contact

I sense you are angry – Said Cas looking at Dean's eyes again – Why?

Cas you know that humans need to sleep, drink, eat, don't you know that? – Said Dean drinking another bottle of beer

Yes, I do Dean – Said Cas looking at Dean now sitting on the couch – I don't understand why you are upset.

Because you woke me up this time to ask me something and disappear – Said Dean drinking more beer for the next bottle

I wasn't going anywhere - Said Castiel coming close to Dean, a little too close – I'm always here.

Cas, too close dude – Said Dean getting a little space for himself – So tell me, why did you ask me that?

I was thinking – Said Cas turning his back on Dean and looking thought the window once more – If I didn't help you that day, would it be better to have the apocalypse?

Of course not Cas, Are you freaking crazy dude? – Said Dean Taking another sip of beer

I don't know anymore Dean – Said Cas putting his hand on the window – I could've avoided killing my brothers, I still… - He wanted to say something, but the words became too heavy for him – I've done so much damage, Dean…

Ok, you made some mistakes – Said Dean resting his beer on the coffee table – Who doesn't?

I'm angel, Dean, I'm not supposed to make mistakes – Said Castiel looking at Dean's eyes – If that was a mistake, does it make me a monster?

Cas, stop that! – Said Dean walking towards him and holding his both arms – There's no use to think about it now, it's done and you must move on.

Don't you ever look back Dean? – Said Castiel looking at Dean's green haunting eyes with a somewhat sad smile – Not even for one second?

I try not to… Ok? – Said Dean realizing how softy was to touch Castiel's Trench coat, he smiled for one second and released him a little spooked with this feeling – I'm glad you are here, with us.

Castiel simply smiled back at Dean's face when he turned to see him – Don't get me wrong, Your powers are really useful… - Said Dean looking at Cas eyes, trying to somehow don't be emotional with this talk , he could felt Cas got a little sad for it – And you are like family.

Am I? – Said the angel with a softy smile, questioning, but faintly happy expression on his face – Like your family?

Yes, Cas – said Dean padding Castiel's shoulder slightly – You know that.

I know… - Said Castiel smiling, his eyes wide and bright a faint smile again on his lips – I just wanted to hear it from you again.

Dean coughed a little nervous; Castiel knew how to say things like this and embarrass him without noticing or wanting.

Last time you told me, I was like family… Weren't good times… - Continued Cas while his smiled faded away for one second and came back a little weaker than before - I just need to hear it again, Dean.

Is it just that? – Said Dean drinking his beer again and sitting on the couch his cheeks a little blushed; maybe it was the beer, maybe it was Castiel that made him feel a little fuzzy inside.

No – Said Castiel softly – There's one more question.

Ok, shoot it – said Dean resting his feet on the coffee table

Am I forgiven? – Said Castiel walking close to Dean, stopping in front of him, a surprised expression rose on Dean's face, he tried to hide it looking away

For what, Cas? – Said Dean crossing his arms and resting his back a little further on the couch

I did let you down a couple of times, Dean – said Castiel looking down on Dean, his eyes following his jaw line, watching Dean's mouth move, Dean felt a little uncomfortable under Castiel's gaze

That's past, Cas – said Dean now looking at Castiel again, he still felt a little fuzzy and some kind of happiness burned shyly on his chest, maybe it was the beer, he drank it too fast – We are good now.

Dean – Said Castiel now looking at Dean cheeks realizing a little blush – You look a little… Strange.

I guess that beer scaled quickly – Said Dean feeling Castiel's hands on his shoulder, a warm touch, that made him almost jump from the couch – What a hell? Cas!

I can heal you If you like – said Castiel in a normal tone, Dean would say something, but he was a little drowse, he rested back on the couch, Castiel's hands on his shoulder felt like what he just needed right now.

No Cas, drinking help me sleep better – Said Dean resting his head against one of Castiel's hands, it's smelled good like some kind of wild flower, maybe Castiel was picking up flowers again.

I can give you a massage – said Castiel with his hand on Dean's shoulder slowly pressing them, It was all too natural for Castiel to take care of Dean, watching over him was a natural instinct.

That would be nice – Said Dean resting his head on the couch again, Castiel hands felt good, felt like knife coming down on a piece of pie for Dean, He gave Castiel a hint of his smile

Castiel stood silent and moving his hands on Dean's shoulder with rhythm and the right strength to make him relax, looking at Dean's face his eyes closing with pleasure – Hun, that's the spot – said Dean while Castiel gave him a soft smile.

Dean realized he was getting aroused, before Castiel could see it, he covered himself with a pillow, closing his eyes again – That's enough Cas – said Dean, but Cas ignored him this time pressing a little harder, listening to Dean moan a little more

I'm almost finishing Dean – said Castiel pressing his thumbs on Dean's shoulders, and gently pressing whispering on Dean's ear – I just need a minute.

Cas… Hun… I said stop... Dude – moaned Dean, things were getting complicate for the pillow on his lap. Finally Castiel stopped gently slowing down his moves, Dean felt a strange wanting and relieve after he was done – Thank Cas – He mumbled

You welcome Dean – Was the last thing Dean heard before closing his eyes and falling asleep.


	2. The Coyote And The Bird

(Barry motel – Somewhere)

Dean, Wake up – Said Sam touching Dean's arms crossed in front of him – It's almost noon.

Dean opened his eyes lazily, he felt refreshed, stood up and looked around looking for Castiel

Looking for something Dean? – Said Sam packing his things

Was Cas here when you woke up? – Asked Dean a little confuse, he felt his conversation with Castiel was just a dream

No, was he here yesterday? – Ask Sam going to the bathroom

Maybe, my head hurts a little – Said Dean rubbing his eyes and walking to his bed, he slept on the couch without realizing again

Of course you slept on the couch – Said Sam with his mouth partially full of toothpaste – Aren't your back and shoulder hurting too?

Now that you mentioned – Said Dean moving his arms, it's felt lighter than before, maybe Castiel was there talking to him and gave him a massage, Dean didn't knew what to think about it… That was really awkward to talk about it with Sam – Yeah it's hurting a little.

Ok – Said Sam leaving the bathroom – I'm going out to buy some food, do you want something besides pie?

Yes, Sammy bring me more beer, I think I drank the last three yesterday – Said Dear walking into the bathroom and washing his face

Ok – Said Sam leaving the room – I'll be back soon.

Dean stared at his reflection for a while "Three beers and I'm down, I must be getting old" Then he started to bush his teeth "Was Cas really here yesterday? What a hell gave into him to give me a massage? And why I got a boner? Come on Dean, you don't swing that way, you don't like guys… Especially angels" Dean left the bathroom and sat on the couch again.

He could sense Castiel in the room, sited on the chair close to the door – Morning Cas – He said without looking back

Good morning Dean – Said Cas a little surprised – Do you always know when I'm here?

Sometimes – Said Dean now looking by his side, Castiel was there now

I've never asked you… How can you? – Said Castiel now looking at Dean's face with curiosity

I don't know, Cas, I just do – Said Dean making plain simple what was really difficult to explain, he wouldn't say that he felt Castiel presence as a perfume that made the place smell better or that he felt safer every time Castiel was there.

Are you upset? – Said Castiel gazing at Dean's eyes again, this bothered Dean a bit, but he didn't want to look angry again or to talk about it right now

No, Cas, my head is hurting – Said Dean turning the volume of the Tv down before tuning it on with the remote control

Do you want me to fix that? – Said Castiel again trying to be helpful and a little concerned

No, Cas… - Said Dean angry – Don't you have any angels business to do?

Do you want me to leave, Dean? – Said Castiel standing up and tuning away to leave

No! That's not what I want – Said Dean holding Castiel arm – I'm sorry Cas, I'm just a little uncomfortable with what happened yesterday.

What happened yesterday? – Asked Castiel sitting on the couch

Weren't you here yesterday? – Asked Dean now realizing he was still holding Castiel's arm, he let it go quickly, a little embarrassed

Yes, I asked you two questions and then you fell asleep – Said Cas with a confuse face – Did I upset you with my questions?

No, Cas – Said Dean breathing deeply – You were trying to help me… It just complicated.

What is the matter Dean? – Asked Castiel putting one hand on Dean's shoulder, Dean felt it so warm and welcoming, it was like he could be healed just by holding it, he shook his head and stood up avoiding Castiel's touch

Its human stuff Cas – Said Dean walking in circles on the room a little nervous – You wouldn't understand.

It's something I can heal? – Said Castiel standing up, opening his arms a little – Are you sick?

No, Cas – Said Dean sitting on a chair close to the door – its "feelings" stuff… I mean, it personal.

I understand – Said Cas now looking at Dean's face, he was face to face with Dean – Do you want to be alone?

No, I like when you are here, Cas… – Said Dean in an impulse – I mean, I like when you are here with… Us.

So should we talk about it? – Said Castiel still gazing at Dean's eyes again

No, I'll figure out on my own – Said Dean sitting on the couch and changing the channel to the cartoons

So, can I watch the coyote and the bird with you? – Asked Castiel looking Dean's neck, observing it moves

Yes, Cas – Said Dean giving him space on the couch and smiling a little, it was really cute to watch Castiel watch Tv – Come here.

Castiel sat there close to Dean and watched Dean's reaction instead to the cartoon, he watched Dean's laugh and smiles and even his curious eyes over the screen; Castiel smiled thought the cartoon, while Dean pretended to not notice Castiel's gaze upon him and a hint of smile in his face.


	3. The Rear Mirror

(On The road – At night)

Dean? – Asked Castiel on the back sit of his impala, Sam was sleeping on the front sit, it was night time

CAS! – Said Dean freaked out, he wasn't that costumed to Castiel's appearances out of the blue – Yes, Cas.

I need to talk – Said the angel looking thought the internal mirror from the back sit – Dean.

Again Cas? – Said Dean frowning an eyebrow and turning his eyes to the road – About what?

Why do people change? – Said Castiel frowning his eyes, his face filled with curiosity and pain

I don't know Cas – Said Dean making a turn in the road, searching for a gas station or a motel

But you did change – Said Castiel now a little confuse still looking at Dean's eyes thought the internal mirror – Didn't you?

I guess – Said Dean parking the impala in the road near the gas station – You tell me Cas.

You changed… You used to be… - Castiel paused as if he was searching for the right words, then he said almost whispering – more like… "Let's do… it".

Let's do it? – Said Dean tuning to look at Castiel's eyes and frowning his forehead - Thanks Dr. Phil that was enlightening.

I mean… You were more careless – Said Castiel still looking at Dean's face

Well, Cas – Said Dean tuning his head to the road again – You can't be eighteen forever, dude.

Why did you change then? Dean? – Asked Castiel still looking at him thought the internal mirror, his eyes wide and clear, Dean felt good talking with him, even if Dean didn't want to admit that

Those things seem meaningless now – Said Dean after a pause, he could still sense Castiel's eyes on him – That I'm… happy – Dean didn't know why he said that, but it made sense to him, he was on the road with Sam and Cas, Bobby was in heaven, the king of hell almost off the table.

Why are you happy Dean? – Said Castiel, his eyes still wavering thought the inner mirror fixed on Dean's face, following the line of his eyes

Cas, man… - Said Dean a little embarrassed holding the steering wheel with both hands – After all that We've been though, we still in one piece… I'm happy because of that.

I understand – Said Castiel with a smile – I'm happy too.

Did you get your answer Cas? – Asked Dean turning the engine off

Yes – Said the angel still looking at Dean's face

So? – Said Dean looking thought the internal mirror, Castiel just smiled to him again and for a long minute he stood there in silence

You are like family to me, Dean – Said Castiel with a hint of smile, Dean blushed and cleaned his throat with a cough, Dean looked away adjusting the rear mirror

That's awesome Cas – Said Dean still trying to hide his feelings, somehow Castiel made him feel good about that and wrong at same time, it was a foreign feeling to him – Want to go outside to grab some grub?

No, I'll stay here to watch over Sam – Said Castiel in an innocent way, Dean nodded and walked away, thinking about so many things, that his head was hurting again, but he still felt strangely good, was Castiel looking at him thought the window?

(Gas Station – At night)

Dean finally made at the gas station, there was a strange looking fat guy that looked like the cashier from the convenience store that Dean just walked in.

The fat guy gave him a drowse look while Dean made his way to the refrigerator taking some beers and some yogurts – He knew Sam would like it – There's wasn't too many thing to buy, considering this gas station was in the middle of nothing, it had a lot of stuff.

Hey you – Said the fat guy – Those beers don't have alcohol in it, the real beers are on the other refrigerator next to this one.

Who is the freak that drinks beer without alcohol? – Asked Dean returning those bottlers to get some "real beer" - Thanks – He shouted and proceeded to the refrigerator, after that he looked for pie and found some, Dean opened a big smile like he was in heaven.

Hey blonde guy! – Said the fat guy laughing – Your boyfriend on the car looks worried about you – He continued laughing

Dean looked thought the windows to see Castiel looking at him from the top of impala, he was sitting there looking at the gas Station; Dean looked to the fat guy and shouted

At least I'm going downtown tonight – Dean smiled and the fat guy made a serious face putting Dean's beers and stuff on a big paper bag, Dean left, he could swear hearing the fat guy calling him "fag" between his teeth. He wanted to kick that fat ass, but he just decided to let this one pass, it was too late of night to wake up Sam and run from the local police because he beat some random fat jackass.

(Dean's impala)

Cas, buddy – Said Dean right in front of Castiel that was sitting on the roof of the impala - What you doing up there?

I felt something was wrong – Said Castiel standing right beside Dean now – I think someone is watching us.

Dude – Said Dean breathing deeply now, trying to stay calm – What the hell! Don't sit on the roof of my baby!

Sorry Dean – Said Castiel looking around, he got a concerned face, Dean putted the paper bag on the floor and drew his gun – There's something here…

I know – Said Dean now feeling like something was slowly walking toward him – It's coming… this way.

In a blink of eye, a ghost like figure jumped on Dean making him lost his gun on the floor.

Cas! Help! – Shouted Dean trying to reach his gun on the floor

Castiel shot the ghost with a shotgun filled with salt making it vanish on thin air – Are you ok Dean? – Continued Castiel lending his hand to help Dean stand up

Yes – Said Dean taking Castiel hand and standing up – Are you using guns now Cas?

I thought it would be appropriated – Said Castiel holding the gun again – Do we hunt the ghost down?

I guess – Said Dean a little surprised at Castiel, Sam opened the door, a little freaked out, with gun in hands

What happened?! – Said Sam looking at Castiel and Dean – Did you shot it, Dean?

No, it was Cas… - Said Dean searching the area around the impala – We have a ghost to ice.

From where do we start it? – Said Castiel still holding the shotgun

Cas are you sure you want to come along? – Asked Sam a little surprised

Yes, how do we hunt ghosts? – Said Castiel looking now at Dean who was taking some things from the impala's trunk

We burn its bones and send it to the light – Said Dean putting his lighter on his pocket – Fast and clear.

Castiel smiled at Dean's smile, the angel felt something new in that moment. Castiel felt a deep admiration towards Dean, in that moment Dean's boyish smile made him feel like he was home at last.


	4. We Need To Talk About Lisa And Ben

(Graveyard – At Night)

See Cas? – Said Dean lighting the fire on the bones with his lighter – And that's how it's done!

I see – Said Castiel looking at the open grave – You are a good man Dean – Said again the angel with his hand resting on Dean's shoulder, a smile rose on Dean's face as he padded Castiel's shoulder back

Thanks Cas – Said he turning away and walking towards the impala, Castiel followed his steps slowly watching him

Dean? - Said Castiel looking at Dean's face again, he stopped and turned to face the angel, Dean knew that something was wrong; somehow he knew how to recognize Castiel's feelings

What is it? Cas – Asked Dean with a smiled shaking off his last thought; he was proud to solve one more case

I'm sorry – Said Castiel looking at him, there was a beautiful sadness in his eyes, like a frozen lake or a calm deep ocean, while looking at Dean's face Castiel couldn't let it go.

For what? – Said Dean again faking ignorance because somehow he knew what Castiel was talking about; Dean knew too that Castiel felt things in a different way and time.

We never really talked about Lisa and Ben – Said Castiel watching Dean's reaction; He could see rage on Dean's eyes; Castiel could sense Dean fighting it

We won't talk about it – Said Dean tuning his back on Castiel, Dean knew if he turned to look at Castiel again he would cry, it still hurt to think about what he had lost – Not about that!

Dean – Said Castiel reaching Dean's shoulder with his hand – We won't Dean; I wanted to say I'm sorry.

Dean breathed again deeply this time and turned to face the angel, he wanted to punch him in his face, but he could not bring himself to do it, not while Castiel was smiling full of trust in him; Dean could not bear his smile, it was warm and calm, and it felt like a good dream

If it'll make you feel better Dean. – Said Castiel breaking the silence, and surprising Dean – Punch me.

I wouldn't – Said Dean now looking at the floor, fighting the tears like a lion, or more like a rat with his back on a dead end – I wouldn't punch you Cas.

Castiel lift Dean's chin up and kept looking at him – Dean – Said Castiel almost whispering Dean's name, like a player, he said with so much sorrow and sweetness that Dean had to look at Castiel again, even if was just to look away after it

Cas, I'm sorry – Said Dean now this time, remembering the first time he punched Castiel's face, it's felt like punching a wall, it hurt him much more that could hurt Castiel, he didn't want to do it again

You don't need to be, Dean – Said Castiel resting his other hand on Dean's shoulder, Castiel smiled weakly, Dean knew that Castiel understood why he didn't want to talk about it– You didn't hurt me this time, I'm fine.

I know Cas – Said Dean smiling a half smile, his knees a little shaken, He felt his range wash away like a wave in the shoreline, and he felt it again, a warm and fuzzy familiar feeling that made him forget about his mistakes;

So many questions waved on his mind. Why did Castiel turn his back on heaven? Was it really because of free will's importance? Did Castiel felt something for him? And if he did, what was that? Dean realized he was taking too long to go back to the car, He gave Castiel a fake happy smile and kept walking to the car – Let's move on.

Thank you – Said Castiel looking at Dean's back, Dean just kept walking, before disappearing Castiel whispered Dean's name like his personal chant, like it gave him strength to carry on or sense of purpose somehow.

(On The Road – Dean's impala)

What is going on Sammy? – Asked Dean on the back sit, Sam was driving the impala, Castiel wasn't there

Nothing – Said Sam looking at Dean though the inner mirror, Sam had definitely something on his mind

Stop that Sammy – Said Dean looking at Sam thought the inner mirror, Dean knew his little brother very well – What's on your mind, dude?

You and Cas – Said Sam pausing to think and continuing again – What is going on between you two?

What you mean "between" the two of us? – Said Dean sitting back in his seat – There's nothing going on.

It doesn't look like Dean – Said Sam looking at the road again – look, you and he do spend a lot of time together and you guys had a lot of fallings out.

We are just setting a few things right, Sammy – Said Dean closing his eyes and trying to relax, he felt Castiel's eyes again, it was like he could hold him with his hand. Dean opened his eyes again looking around, Castiel wasn't there, maybe it was just his imagination; It wasn't like Castiel could be by his side always.

I see – Continued Sam with his eyes on the road – Don't get me wrong Dean, I love Cas as much as you… But He is different right now.

Of course he is different Sammy! – Shouted Dean a little angry – I lost the count of how many times he broke.

I know Dean – Said Sam a little upset – I'm saying, I really wanted to help him, He's been for though too much… I don't know how much he can take.

I think there's nothing we can do Sammy – Said Dean closing his eyes again, he thought it was a good idea letting Sam drive a little, Dean needed a rest.

I guess you are right Dean – Said Sam tuning his eyes to the inner mirror again looking at Dean now sleeping, Sam smiled and turned his eyes to the road again

Sam? – Said Castiel now sitting on the front sit by Sam's side

Cas! – Said Sam a little surprised

I'm just checking your guys out – Said Castiel looking thought the inner mirror at Dean

You know he thinks its creep – Said Sam smiling – You shouldn't watch him sleep.

I'm sorry – Said Castiel now looking at the road – It's an old habit.

Old Habit? – Said Sam smiling this time he was curious

I've been watching over you two for a long time – Said Castiel looking thought the window – I've always been.

Always? – Said Sam looking at Castiel's face, he got a concerned expression on his face, like something was haunting him – Since we were two boys?

No – Said Castiel looking at Sam's face, Castiel smiled softly – Since you two were babies.

So you are our guarding angel? – Asked Sam smiling again, it felt good to know that a familiar face was watching over him and his brother

No – Said Castiel looking to the window again, his smile faded with sadness – I was curious.

Why? – Said Sam noticing the change on Castiel's voice

My brother Michael, I always admired him… - Said Castiel, his eyes got wide and bright – I still do, I was curious about how his vessel was like.

So you came to see Dean? – Said Sam taking a quick look at the inner mirror, Dean continued sleeping.

At first – Said Castiel looking at Sam's face – I saw Dean holding you in his arms, it was… a beautiful view.

Why is that? – Asked Sam a little confused

It made me think about how Michael protected us – Said Castiel with a sad smile again - back then, in the ancient fight.

Are you saying when Lucifer was cast out? – Said Sam a little surprised that Castiel had such a deep impression of Michael, after all he helped them to lock his brothers in the cage.

Yes, back then… - Said Castiel looking at Dean again thought the inner mirror – I was happy.

Cas, aren't you happy now? – Said Sam turning his eyes to where Castiel was, but now he was gone again.


	5. How Could a Human Break My Heart

(Harpy's campsite inn – At night)

Castiel, we need to talk – Said Sam sited on this bed, Dean was sleeping, Sam drove them to the inn and Dean ate and slept as soon as they arrived – Cas?

Castiel didn't answered him, Sam rolled his eyes and thought "Of course, Dean is his favorite"

He isn't Sam – Said Castiel on a chair close to Dean's bed, He was watching over Dean.

Then why don't you come when I call? – Said Sam sitting on a chair now

I do Sam – Continued Castiel with his eyes still over Dean – When I have answers to give.

Do you know what I'll ask? – Said Sam a little upset with a surprised expression

I can't say I don't, Sam – Said Castiel without moving his eyes – I presume you want to know if there's something wrong with me.

Yes – Said Sam looking at Castiel's face – I'm worried ok?

Don't be, Sam – Said Castiel now looking at Sam's eyes, Castiel's eyes were filled with some kind of quietness and piece that made Sam feel a little better – I'm always fine.

Don't bullshit me Cas! – Said Sam standing up, Castiel just shifted his eyes to Dean once again

Even If I wasn't fine, Sam – Said Castiel after a pause – I would be beyond helping…

What you mean? – Said Sam walking towards Castiel

Nobody can save me… Sam – Said Castiel, his eyes were sad and filled with some hope, Sam looked at him, and it was like Castiel was fighting to hold a silver line in an impossible situation

Then let us try – Said Sam again right in front of the angel, Castiel smiled trying to show happiness in vain, he looked at Sam's face careful for a long minute in silence

Thank you – Said Castiel breaking the silence, before Sam could reply Castiel vanished with a soft sound of wings; Sam smiled and took it as a victory, at least if Castiel had a problem he would come back.

(Harpy's campsite inn – Morning)

Then he vanished? – Asked Dean zapping channels on the television

Yes, just like that – Said Sam coming out of the bathroom – At least he talked about it.

Sammy – Said Dean a little quieter than the normal – Maybe you shouldn't push him to talk about it… just saying.

I don't think it's good for him to be alone all the time Dean – Said Sam sitting by his side on the couch

Sammy, come on dude! The guy is tough… He'll be ok – Said Dean changing channels again – Just don't push him, He still Cas… The Cas we met and know.

Dean, he changed – Said Sam crossing his arms – I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I'm not sure if angels are supposed to have so many feelings.

What are you saying Sammy? – Said Dean tuning the Tv off and facing Sam – That I'm to blame for him to break? That is my fault that he got feelings?

Dean – Said Sam looking down and up again – No, I'm saying it's our fault too – Continued Sam after a pause – Look, don't you think that there is a reason why Heaven kept the angels from having feelings like we do?

Great Sammy, let's act like the flying-freaking-nazi- angels… Cas is fine! – Said Dean throwing the remote control at the couch and walking away thought the door – Enough Sammy, I'm going to take a walk.

Dean! – Shouted Sam inside the motel, but Dean already stormed out, Sam got upset and sat on the couch again, turning the Tv once more. He knew that Dean just needed time to cool his head off.

(Wildness preservation Park – somewhere close to the Inn)

Dean walked between thought the stone benches always looking at his shoes, He could not bear the idea to lose someone again, and his conversation with Sam still lingered in his mind. What if Sam was right? What if Castiel was breaking into pieces as he walked though this empty park? What would be left of Castiel after some years? And the most important of all, it was his fault? Dean knew that these questions weren't easy to answer; maybe he should talk with Castiel again.

He walked some more and sat on a big stone bench on the foot of an angel statue. Dean looked at the statue remembering what he said once "Angels don't have the equipment to care… And when they do, its break them…" That seemed a long time ago; Dean ran his hands though his hair, he wanted so badly to ask Castiel about it, but if it was true, what then? Would he cry in vain? Would he spend more time with Castiel? Would he try to find God again to somehow "cure" Castiel?

Dean crossed his arms to warm himself up, and looked at the sky; it was a grey and cold day. He thought about Lisa and Ben for the first time in a long time, he imagined her smile and Ben running though the house… It was past now, sometimes he didn't know if was a dream or if really happened. Dean stopped to search for Castiel's hand mark on his shoulder, he knew he wouldn't find, but somehow it made him feel safe, made him feel like God loved him… It made everything good become real to him again.

Dean? – Asked Castiel by his side on the stone bench – Are you ok?

How did you find me? – Asked Dean looking at Castiel soft smile of relieve

Your brother told me you took a walk – Said Castiel looking at Dean's eyes a little curious – He was worried, why?

Sammy worries too much – Mumbled Dean looking away, trying not to look at Castiel's eyes – I'm fine.

Dean? – Whispered Castiel softly like he was concerned, but couldn't say why

What Cas? – Said Dean a little grumpy, his feet hurt a little, but Castiel presence relieved him somehow.

Can I ask you a question, Dean? – Said the angel pursuing Dean's eyes

Cas, what in the hell do you keep asking me so many good-damn questions? – Said Dean standing up now furious, Castiel stood and looked at Dean, deeply and silent, his calm overflowing him… Castiel smiled sadly and cutting like a knife

Because I don't have anybody else to turn to, Dean – Castiel turned his back slowly at Dean and looked at the Sky as he continued – There's nothing else left for me, Dean… Only questions without answers…

I'm sorry Cas – Said Dean, he let his rage take over him and forgot that Castiel had nobody, just like him and Sam; It was funny that he could have so many things in common with the Angel and sad at same time, that Castiel was the one who somehow lost the most when it all began – It's nothing to do with you, Cas… I just lost my temper… Sorry.

It's ok Dean – Said Castiel facing again Dean, He smiled softly again without any disturbance on his calmness, it was like Castiel had become stronger and not weaker with so many emotions – I understand you… Maybe that's my weakness… I like you.

That's strange Cas – Said Dean scratching his hair and sitting on the bench again – Uriel told me something like that.

Did he? – Said Castiel sitting on the bench and looking at the statue, He looked like a child to Dean, Castiel smiled pure and simply

What you wanted to ask me? – Said Dean trying to somehow cleanse the airs, Castiel turned to watch his face and stood silent again, Dean got confuse by his silence and Castiel just smiled a smiled filled with admiration and gratefulness

Maybe another time Dean – Said Castiel smiling wide and warm, his eyes filled with satisfaction, Castiel turned his eyes to the sky, Dean also turned his eyes to the sky and Castiel vanished without a word.


	6. All I Need Is A Miracle

(Dean's Impala – At night)

Sammy? – Said Dean looking at Sam that was searching some file in his notebook – What did you think was going on between Cas and me?

Nothing – Said Sam with his eyes fixed on the screen, Dean kept his hands on the steering wheel – Why, are you concerned that _**is**_ something going on?

Sammy! – Said Dean a little upset – Don't joke with that! I need to know Dude!

OK, ok – Said Sam closing his laptop – Look, I don't know Dean… You guys looked like… had _"something"_.

Something? _**SOMETHING?**_ Sammy? – Said Dean looking at Sam a little shocked – That's gross Sammy… He's an angel, and a _dude_.

I know Dean – Said Sam opening his laptop again – But I don't think angels have sexual gender.

Yes, but Jimmy does – Said Dean making a turn on the road

Yeah, _but_ you slept with Anna – Said Sam smiling playfully, He was joking with Dean again – What is the difference?

Anna was different, for starters she was _**she**_… - Said Dean with his eyes on the road

As far as you know it… - Said Sam smiling mischievous – Right?

Dean made a grossed expression – That's totally sick, Dude!

Well, have you ever tried? – Said Sam looking at Dean's face now curious and playfully

What? – Said Dean looking at his face back – With a dude?

Yes, Dean – Said Sam chucking - Have you ever, _you know_, with a dude?

Sammy, I really don't swing that way! – Said Dean looking to the road

Sorry I asked – Said Sam laughing, he forgot how funny was to pick on Dean about his sexuality

Bitch! – Said Dean playfully

Jerky! – Said Sam smiling back

Dean enjoyed driving his impala, there wasn't anything good on the radio, Dean turned it off. He thought about what Sam said, that angels don't have gender; that must be really confusing up there.

Maybe Cas had a crush on him, and was hiding it…

Dean shook his head again, he wasn't supposed to think about Cas in that way, but he could not help thinking, that maybe a small part of him wanted to know, was Castiel straight? Is there such a thing as a straight angel? After all they really don't have gender, all he knew was that Castiel was a Virgin, that thought excited him a little, thought Dean liked experienced women, but Castiel was different, the kind of unexplainable different, why was he having those thoughts?

Sam noticed Dean's silence after that conversation, Sam turned the radio to search for a song; He thought it would do Dean some good:

*There'll be no strings to bind you hands… Not if my love can bind your heart*

Dude! – Said Dean looking at the street – Turn it down or turn it off.

Sam smiled and turned it down, Dean blushed a little without letting Sam realize; all he wanted was not to think about Cas and this damn old silly love song was playing on the radio.

_*Just call me angel of the morning angel… Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby*_

Sam smiled and even sang along Juice's Newton voice laughing in the process, Dean laughed at Sam's performance.

Sammy, you are terrible! – Said Dean cleaning his throat

You, gonna sing Dean? _Really?_ – Asked Sam chucking, Dean ignored him and sang

Maybe the suns light will be dim, but it won't matter anyhow – It sounded worse that Sam's version

Really charming Dean – Said Sammy laughing – You should do it professionally.

And if we're victims of the night, I won't be blinded by the light – Said Dean bashing his eyelashes and laughing – Come on Sammy, now the refrain.

No, Dean that's too much – Said Sam having a blast with Dean's performance – I'm crying ok, so stop that.

Both laughed and the music finished, Sam turned the radio off after

So, how long till we got back to our Headquarters? – Asked Sam turning his notebook off

We will be there by morning – Said Dean slowing down to park in another gas station – I'm gonna park here, we need some good food for the HQ.

Ok – Said Sam putting his notebook on the back sit – I'm going with you, I need to walk a little.

Dean nodded and parked in front of the convenience store.

(The convenience Store – At night )

Dean was looking for some pie as always, but stopped to take a peek in an edition of Asian beauties XXX Limited edition on the middle of others "fish & hunt" magazines; He looked to both sides and started to slowly flipping through pages…

Dean licked his lips with desire, his eyes wide, he stopped and smiled wild and wolfish. He heard someone calling his name, but he was too focused right now, then he felt someone's hand on his shoulder.

Dean? Are you all right? – Asked Castiel looking at Dean's flushed face, Dean realized it was him and as quickly as he could threw the magazine under the shelf and turned to face Castiel confuse expression on his face – Are you all right?

Y-yes! Cas - Said Dean whipping his mouth with his leather jacket's sleeve – What are you doing here Cas?

N-nothing – Said Castiel quickly and nervous, Dean understood he was hiding something

Cas? – Said Dean smiling to him for one second and laughing – Ok, you don't need to tell me if you don't want.

Dean, it's really nothing – Said Castiel turning his back to Dean and looking at the television on counter

I see – Said Dean smiling again, he realized that he got a rising in his pants, Dean immediately used a fish and hunt magazine to cover himself – I guess I'm wrong then – Continued Dean looking at Castiel thinking if the angel turned because he saw his "Riot on the south" or if he was really hiding something, Dean went to the refrigerator to calm himself down.

Sam saw Castiel watching tv and greeted him with a slap on his shoulder – Cas! What going on?

I'm just stretching my legs – Said Castiel looking again at the Tv

Sam smiled and padded Castiel again on the shoulder before going past him with a paper bag – That's good Cas.

(Dean's impala – On the Road – Still at night)

Dean was driving on the empty road, it was a little chilly and a mist was rising from it; Sam was tucked in with a kind of blanket, but he was awake. Castiel wasn't there; Sam looked at Dean's face and smiled.

Do you know what Cas was doing on the Gas Station? – Asked Sam watching Dean's reaction very closely

I dunno, Sammy – Said Dean with his eyes fixed on the road, it was very dark ahead – Maybe he was just taking some air

I do – Said Sam smiling secretively, he wanted to Dean ask about it himself

And what was he doing, Dude? – Said Dean a little impatient

I talked with the old lady that is the cashier of the convenience store – Said Sam ignoring Dean's question – Did you know that her great daughter was very ill it's been weeks?

So, what Sammy? Did you kissed the Granma or something? – Said Dean looking at Sam's face and laughed

Did you know that her Great daughter got better like a "miracle" just before we arrived? – Said Sam with a big smile in his face, ignoring Dean's joke

So? – Asked Dean looking thought the inner mirror, he was looking for Castiel, but he wasn't in the back sit

I think Cas healed her great daughter – Said Sam looking thought the window – Don't you think?

Yeah, it seems that way – Said Dean turning his eyes to the road

Come on Dean, it doesn't seems that way – Said Sam looking at Dean's face, he was frowning his eyebrow again – That old lady said she played so much that god healed her great daughter.

If you right, then she is wrong – Said Dean looking at the inner mirror again, why was he looking for Castiel again? It was slowly becoming a habit

Dean what's going on? – Said Sam looking at Dean's eyes, then he realized Dean was looking thought the inner mirror – Are you looking for Cas on the back sit?

Why would I dude?! – Said Dean now looking at the road again

I don't know Dean – Said Sam resting his head on is seat – You are just acting strange.

You are tired Sammy – Said Dean padding Sam's chest and turning his hand to the steering wheel again – Go to sleep.

Sam just closed his eyes and nodded; Dean smiled and turned his eyes to the road. He passed a big cloud of morning fog; his eyes began to close… the lights in the road become too bright, Dean loosed his hands on the steering wheel, and then the blackness swallowed his impala whole.


	7. Driving Mr Winchest

(Dean's impala – At morning)

Dean opened his eyes and realized he was sleeping on the back sit, with a jump he looked immediately to the front sit to find Sam sleeping like a child.

Good morning, Dean – Said Cas with his eyes on the road, he was driving the car now

Cas!? – Said Dean looking at him confused – What happened?

You fell asleep while driving – Said Castiel looking thought the inner mirror – Are you ok?

Yes, I guess – Said Dean now sitting and rubbing his eyes, did he sleep the whole night? – Thanks Cas.

Castiel just smiled at Dean thought the inner mirror, Dean was a little surprised that Cas actually knew how to drive a car, was he here all time?

Cas – Continued Dean a little spooked for asking – Were you here all night?

Yes – said Castiel looking now to the road – I'm taking you two to your place.

Were you invisible here all the time? – Said Dean scratching his head

Sometimes I'm invisible here – Said Castiel a little sad – but I'm a celestial begin, Dean… I can hear you two talking if I want to.

Do you eavesdrop us all the time? That's creepy Cas – Said Dean looking thought the inner mirror, he was looking for Castiel's eyes

No – Said Castiel parking the car in front of the HQ's entrance – That would be rude.

Of course – Said Dean smiling, he gazed at Castiel's eyes this time looking at him

So, I think… I see you soon Dean – Said Castiel tuning the engine off

No, Cas – Said Dean putting one hand on Castiel's shoulder – Come on in, I owe you one… Just don't tell Sammy, he'll be worried.

I don't know, Dean – Said Castiel looking away from Dean now – I have something to do.

Cas, I know – Said Dean pressing his hand on Castiel's shoulder – That you've been healing people up… while you are away.

I'm just fixing what I broke Dean – Said Castiel looking down now; he knew that Dean was looking at him thought the inner mirror

You aren't God, Cas – Said Dean pursuing Castiel eyes thought the inner mirror – You can't fix all his messes and yours too.

But I can try, Dean – Said Castiel turning back to face Dean, Castiel held Dean's hand on his shoulder lightly – I need to try Dean.

Cas, come in – Said Dean smiling at him in a boyish manner, he knew Castiel was his best friend, like it or not, he was breaking with so much regret and sadness and this time was time to stop that – Do it for me then, I'm gonna feel good if you stay with us a little more.

Castiel looked at Dean's eyes, it was filled with sadness, but it turned into happiness when he said – Cas, buddy, I need you – Dean punched Castiel's shoulder lightly, Castiel smiled softly and just nodded, that was a yes in Castiel's language, and Dean knew it.

(HQ – At morning)

Then, here is a large place – Said Castiel sitting on a chair – You said something about man of letters?

Yes, our own secret society bloodline is in here – Said Dean drinking a bear with his feet on a coffee table

Are you sure we can leave Sam sleeping on the impala alone? – Said Castiel looking at Dean's feet moving

Yes, Sammy will wake up with the alarm in any minute now – Said Dean smiling, he set the radio to wake Sam up like he used to do – Cas… What were you going to ask me that day?

The day in the park? - Asked Castiel standing up and looking at Dean's socks on his feet's, he thought that was strange how humans get dressed. " What's socks for?" Castiel thought

Yes, Cas – Said Dean resting his beer on the table and crossing his arms – That day in the park.

It wasn't anything of important – Said Castiel tilting his head and still looking at Dean's feet

Cas, man… It's for keeping the feet warm – Said Dean guessing what Castiel was thinking

Thank you, Dean – Said Castiel smiling softly, it was funny how Dean sometimes knew what he was thinking about – I was thinking about that.

It's figures – Said Dean chucking – You looked at my feet as if it was Scooby snacks, Scooby doo.

I don't understand that reference – Said Castiel confused

Never mind – Said Dean laughing, it's felt good to spend a little time with Castiel – So you drive too, something else I should know?

What do you mean? – Said Castiel sitting again and resting his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands

I thought angels didn't knew how to drive a car – Said Dean crossing his feet and drinking his beer

Yes, you are partially right – Said Castiel looking at Dean's eyes this time – But Jimmy knew how to drive a car.

So if Jimmy knows how to do something you know too right? – Said Dean smiling and tilting his head and thinking "that's sounds useful"

If he knew – Said Castiel looking at Dean's feet again – Jimmy is no longer here.

What do you mean? – Said Dean curious

He is in heaven; at least his mind is… I'm just using his body as my permanent vessel – Said Castiel looking at the beer on the table

That's really creep – Said Dean drinking more beer – Do you want some Cas?

No, thanks – Said Castiel looking at Dean's face

Why do you drink so much Dean? – Said Castiel looking at Dean's eyes again, Dean looked at him as if he didn't knew the answer, he drunk because of many things, it seemed like a habit now.

It's supposed to help me Cas – Said Dean trying not to over think it and closing his eyes for a while, Castiel stood silent for a long time, finally Dean heard him say

I thought I was supposed to help you – Said Castiel looking at Dean's eyes, his eyes now open in a certain admiration – Dean.

That's different Cas – Said Dean resting the empty bottle on the table and sitting with his feet on the ground – you help me fight, beer help me sleep and relax.

I can help you relax – Said Castiel with his hand now on Dean's shoulder moving it slowly

Dude… Don't do it! – Protested Dean, but weakly giving up and mooing – Cas, that's good…

Dean, just relax – Said Castiel pressing harder and slower, Dean moaned long and whispered

Cas, dude, that's not what I meant.

Dean, I thought you need me – Said Castiel bringing his face close to Dean's face – Didn't you just said?

I did – Said Dean, he didn't believed that he was saying it – I need you Cas.

Castiel brought his face closer and kissed Dean in his lips, Dean responded letting himself be kissed by Castiel, his hands captured Castiel's chin and Dean's tongue meet Castiel's tongue; Dean's hands pulled Castiel between his legs.

Castiel opened his eyes wide and smiled softly, Dean held Castiel against him pulling Castiel by his trench coat and kissing him again, closing his eyes.

Dean? – Said Sam walking into the room, Dean opened his eyes again

Sammy?! – Shouted Dean, he realized he was sleeping on the chair were he sat

You let me alone in the impala? – Said Sam a little pissed – And you set the radio to wake me up?

Sorry Sammy – Said Dean chucking to hide his erotic dream with Castiel – Look at the bright side, you're alive dude!

You jerk – Said Sam punching Dean's shoulder

Bitch – Said Dean smiling, Sam walked to his room.

Dean crossed his arms again *When did Castiel leave?* Thought him, looking at the beer on the coffee table *Do I have feelings for Cas?* thought him again, Dean knew that he was again over thinking *Ok, even If I wanted to kiss Cas, would he want to kiss me back?*


	8. Angel's Memento

(HQ – Library – At afternoon)

Sam browsed though the bookshelves looking for a particular book, he was thinking about what he talked with Dean, if feelings can really break an angel and make him fall. Sam found a book, but it was so heavy that he almost knocked down some others book off in the shelf.

Sam rested the book on the table "The heaven's imaginarium" was a fancy name for a book that talked about the damned and the divine in this world; He skipped though pages until something caught his attention.

"Then the sons of god fell for the mortals creating a new offspring… Nefilin" – Sam knew he was getting close to something and continued - "The ones that fell shall never rise again, thus becoming strangers in their own home"

That's means Cas will never go home? – Asked Sam to himself, "Did Cas knew about that?" thought Sam while keeping reading – "The fallen ones will wander in their own exile until they fade away like time itself" In the bottom of the page Sam could read in a beautiful handwriting.

"OBS: According to this book a fallen angel would never return to heavens, thus being dammed to live as an exile and wander, until he fades away. _Storage box 107"_

What was in the Storage box 107? – said Sam again to himself, while walking towards the deposit Sam thought in admiration how much knowledge was in the Man of letters' library, If they knew somehow how to cure a demon, did they know how to cure an angel?

Sam browsed again thought the boxes and found Box 107, it was made of some dark and heavy wood, Sam putted it on the closest table and opened it admiring the carvings on the cover.

There was a note book, a black feather and old movie cartridge inside the box; Sam smiled and took the note book, but Dean just walked into the room:

Sammy, do you wanna a sandwich? – Sam immediately hid the box behind him

Y-yes, Dean! – Said Sam crossing his arms to hide the note book – No tomatoes please.

Ok – Said Dean a little suspicious turning back and leaving the room

"That was close" Thought Sam closing the box again and putting it on its place, he kept the note book, he'd rather Dean not know that he was searching about, Dean could be stubborn sometimes, and if Sam could avoid another fight he would.

Sam sat on a chair that was close to the table and began to read it:

"I really don't buy those life-past-regression therapies, but my wife keeps insisting me to go to some sessions… Last session I had a scary experience, I burned the therapist chair to ashes… I don't know what happened, some strangers came to my door today, and they said that I was an angel. I laughed on their faces; even so I talked to them."

"They say they are called "man of Letters" and it would be important that to protect my family that I would go with them, I've never been so scared, I must admit that I went with them, I needed to know what happened, but not even for a second I believed that I was an angel"

There were some others writings, but Sam was really tired, he went through the whole morning to find it, now he needed to rest a little. Sam putted away the note book in his pocket and walked towards the living room, Dean smiled at him and handed him a plate with a sandwich:

Eat up Sammy! – Said Dean with his mouth full of meat – I made my special recipe.

Ok – Said Sam sitting and eating

So, what are you looking for on the deposit? – Said Dean trying to make some small talk

Just some stuff – Said Sam taking another bite – You know ancient, stuff.

Ok – Said Dean smiling he was really happy with the sandwich – Sammy, do you mind if Cas hang around more?

No, Dean – Said Sam frowning an eyebrow – Why?

I dunno dude – Said Dean taking another bite – He's acting weirdo again, I thought in keeping an eye on him.

I thought you said that wasn't nothing to do, if something was wrong with him – Said Sam smiling, all in all Dean was just like him, he was trying to protect Cas too, but in his way

I know I said that dude! – Said Dean licking his fingers – But he was there for us when it mattered, I think is fair that we be with him when he needs.

I agree, Dean – Said Sam finishing his sandwich, and smiling at Dean – Besides you can try to find out how is like to be with a guy.

Dude! What's wrong with you? – Said Dean with a grossed out face – Bitch!

Jerky! – Said Sam laughing, it was good to just tease Dean a little about his bromance.

(HQ – Dean's Bedroom– At night)

No… No… Sammy! – Shouted Dean waking himself up, it was another nightmare, it had been a while he didn't have one that Dean forgot how it felt like – Fuck!

Coursed Dean sitting on the bed as rubbed his eyes and turned the lights on, Dean could feel the smell of sulfur on his nose, it made him twist his nose slightly, Dean made his way to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator putting his head inside it to grab the coldest beer, he got it and sat on the chair looking at the beer on the table, he felt Castiel's presence again.

Hello, Dean – Said Cas, making Dean turn his chair to sit and face him

Cas – Said Dean a little drowsy – Doing good?

Dean – Said Castiel ignoring the question – Did you call me?

No – Said Dean laying his back on the chair

I'm sorry then – Said Castiel, but this time he just stood there looking at Dean's face

I had a nightmare – Said Dean, he felt like telling it to Castiel for at least small talk's sake

I thought so – Said Castiel looking at Dean's forehead with a drop of sweat rolling to the side – You look unwell.

I was in hell again – Said Dean still looking at Castiel's eyes, but now Castiel was looking at the floor

Impossible – Said the angel in a calm manner – I pulled you out with my own hands.

I know Cas – Said Dean he almost could feel the markings that weren't there anymore burning a little – I think I never said thanks to you and meant… Thank you Cas.

Castiel just smiled in silence turning his eyes to Dean's eyes, Dean felt a good feeling like a wave run though him.

Will you drink it? – Said Castiel looking at the beer

No – Said Dean with a smile – I don't think I need it anymore.

That's good, Dean – Said the angel smiling softly and walking pass Dean

Where you going? – Asked Dean standing up and resting his hand on Castiel's shoulder

Somebody else needs me, Dean – Said Castiel without looking into Dean's eyes, Dean could feel some kind of sadness in his voice

Don't go, Cas – Said Dean pressing his fingers on Castiel's shoulder – Stay here a little while.

I don't think It would be right, Dean – Said Castiel looking away, He knew if Dean asked him to stay again he would – I just came because I thought you would be in danger.

Then you heard me, didn't you? – Asked Dean pursuing Castiel's eyes, but in vain, Castiel was looking the other way, avoiding eye contact

Yes, I did – Said Castiel closing his eyes for one moment – I heard you shouting Sam's name.

Then stay for a while – Said Dean searching words to convince Castiel to stay, because in truth he was scared that if he slept again, another nightmare could remind him of hell, somehow if Castiel was there he could sleep and know that it was just a nightmare – I would appreciate it, Cas… Please, don't go.

Castiel turned his eyes to Dean again, that strange feeling filled the air again, there was something in Castiel's eyes, Dean felt a warm hand on his face, Castiel smiled sadly and Dean understood that and closed his eyes slowly, Dean embraced Castiel like he did when he met him on the purgatory, wrapping his arms around him.

Castiel smiled again thinking to himself "Freedom is a length of rope" – Dean – Whispered Castiel holding him back with a calm and warm embrace – Let me go.

Cas, I'm scared – Whispered Dean a stubborn drop of swear still lingered on his forehead – It's still haunts me, what I've become, haunts me… Cas.

Dean – Said Castiel pulling away slowly from Dean's arms, Castiel just smiled again, warm like thousand suns in the morning – What can I do?

Stay – Said Dean looking at Castiel's face, trying to read those blue eyes so endless and calm

Castiel nodded with a smile again, Dean smiled wide and with his right hand held Castiel arm weakly. They stood there in silence without a world until Dean sat on the couch; Castiel rested his hand on Dean's cheek and whispered in his ear.

I'm here… Dean – Dean smiled weakly and closing his eyes, rested his head on the couch.


	9. Wings Of Desire

(HQ – Morning)

Morning came slowly at first, the shy sunrays came thought the window to land on Dean's foot on the floor. He was fast asleep on the couch, Castiel wasn't there anymore, Dean smiled softly as opening his eyes;

Cas? – Whispered Dean – Cas? – Continued him, then he stopped, he knew Castiel wasn't there, but he wanted to hear his voice again "When did I become addicted to Cas's voice?" Thought Dean shaking his head and rubbing his eyes before standing up, he felt strange, almost at piece.

Dean walked to his room and let himself lay on the bed, his face against the pillow. Was he having that kind of feelings towards Castiel? Did he want to kiss him like in the dream he had? He stood there for a minute listening to his heartbeats, every time he thought of Castiel's smile it would speed up… Dean smiled, a little confuse, did he wanted Cas?

(HQ – Library)

Sam was already up and reading the note book with a bowl of cereal in the other hand, He didn't find nothing really important, it seemed like a personal diary of a guy that actually was a angel, but usually fallen angels don't remember their former self's – just like Anna – Thought Sam.

He finished his bowl of cereal and walked thought the deposit to find Castiel sitting on a chair in the dark, Sam turned the lights on surprised

Cas?! – Said he coming close – Are you ok?

No, Sam, I'm not ok! – The angel trying to stand up, he was really drunk

Cas are you drunk again? – Asked Sam helping Cas stand up straight

This question is really stupid Sam – Said Cas with a drunken smile

Hun, why did you drink that much? – Said Sam helping him to sit

Its helps me sleep better – Said Castiel laughing, Sam was really confuse

I thought angels don't sleep – Continued Sam sitting in a table close to him

Shhh – Said Cas putting one finger in his lips – Don't tell anyone that, or else I just drank that much to relax… And we can't have that.

Sam smiled while Castiel passed out with a smile on his face; He carried Castiel to the guest's room and placed him on the bed watching him sleep, what was strange, thought Sam, is he losing his powers again? Sam shook his head and left the room so he could keep searching for something to help Castiel.

(HQ –Dean's Bedroom)

Dean tossed and turned in his bed, he wanted to sleep a little more, but he couldn't. He stood up and walked to Sam's room, he wasn't there, Dean needed to talk with someone, he felt like calling Cas, but it would make things worse because now Dean wanted to kiss him.

Dean walked towards the guest's room to look for his magazines hidden there, on the door he saw Castiel on the bed sleeping apparently, Dean's eyes grow wide, he wanted to touch him, but kept control of himself.

Slowly and steady he walked pass Castiel and opened the nightstand

Dean – moaned Castiel on his sleep, Dean couldn't help, but looking at Castiel's face he seemed pretty happy – Dean, I'll stay here.

I know you will buddy – Whispered Dean while looking at Castiel's smile – I'll be here too for you.

Castiel smiled again turning to sleep on his back, his face up to the roof, his arms opened and softly curved upward, his legs lazily loose on the mattress, and he had his shoes on.

Dean came close to him and softly took Castiel's shoes off then left it close to the nightstand, he knew how his feet would hurt if he slept with shoes on, and how his neck would hurt with the tie there, Dean putted his hand on Castiel neck without waking him up and slowly began to untie his tie.

Castiel arm moved and his hand grabbed Dean's arm with an instinctive reaction, Dean flushed red on his face, the angel grabbed his other hand tight while Dean tried to set his hand free.

Dean cursed in his mind while getting himself on top of Castiel trying to set his hands free without waking him, suddenly Castiel pulled Dean close to his face, Dean tried to get away, but something into him felt right, Dean held Castiel neck slightly locking Castiel's nose against his.

Castiel opened his eyes and realized his proximity – Dean…? – Said the angel on the bottom of Dean's body, he blushed confused – What is happening?

Dean blushed too, but his hands and nose pressed against Castiel's face stood there, Dean felt paralyzed, how he was supposed to explain it to Castiel? Castiel looked at Dean's eyes again, but this time the silence was replaced by Castiel's hand on Dean's chest almost trying to get some space between then, Dean's lips opened slightly and slid to Castiel neck making him moan weakly and low.

Dean? – Asked Castiel again, foreign to what Dean was doing and what he was feeling – Stop!

Dean pulled his lips back and grabbed Castiel by his tie almost undone, pulling him face to face to the angel once more, he whispered

Cas, please, don't make me beg – Castiel face's was converted in a surprised expression, his eyes were filled with the same surprise as his face

Dean, I don't understand – Whispered Castiel confuse

Cas, Just tell me if you feel the same as me – Said Dean now breathing softly on Castiel face, their noses touching slightly again

Dean, I don't understand, what is that? – Asked Castiel with a smile on his face

It's emotional stuff, Cas – Said Dean resting his nose on Castiel neck, sniffing it, it's smelled booze, Dean knew Cas was drinking again, he thought why is that.

I don't know what I feel… I feel good with you, and I feel… Like I have a home again – Said Castiel while his hand slid towards Dean's ribs grabbing it slightly – What's it that I feel, Dean?

Dean smiled, Castiel maybe felt the same, but he was an angel, how he was supposed to feel love when he was created to not know it? Dean rested his forehead on Castiel's chin caressing his short facial hairs, and smiled again his green eyes turned to Castiel's blue pacific eyes.

I don't know Cas… You must find out for yourself… That's the fun of it – Said Dean taking his arms away from Castiel with a sad smile; he now knew the meaning of Castiel's sad smile, but before Dean could go away Castiel grabbed Dean's shoulder with his right hand

Don't go – Said Castiel, Dean could feel fear and concern in his voice – I don't want to be alone, Dean… Please.

Cas – Said Dean pressing his lips on Castiel's lips and lying on his chest after – I'll stay, buddy… I got you Cas.

Castiel smiled a little confuse he didn't knew what he was feeling, even so he closed his eyes and slept while Dean held him in his arms, it's felt safe in Dean's arms, safer that he ever was… A thought went to his mind, "Was it what love felt like?"


	10. Cas, You Got Your Ears On?

(HQ – Guest Room)

Dean opened his eyes slowly at first, he remembered sleeping in Castiel's arms, but now he was in bed alone, but Castiel's trench coat was wrapped around Dean's body. This time Dean knew that it wasn't a dream, he and Castiel kissed, it still felt like a dream though.

Cas? – Whispered Dean sniffing the Trench coat lightly, where could he go? Was he in love with Castiel? He licked his lips and felt Castiel's taste that still lingered in his lips, it was sweet and salt.

Dean realized that Sam didn't know a thing that was going on; he stood up and folded the trench coat carrying it with him to his room. He didn't find Sam while walking to his room. "What will I do now?" Said Dean silently to himself, he was concerned and felling something strange. Was it love? If it was, how would Sam take it? And how would Castiel take it? They already kissed and almost made out, what if comes down to sex? How would it go?

Dean walked into his room closing the door behind him and lying again on the bed, he couldn't let go of the trench coat, holding it like a blanket, sniffing it and wanting that somehow Castiel would come back to him only by wishing it.

What is wrong with me? – Whispered Dean to himself, he was about to cry, why do I feel this way? This is not right! Protested him, he didn't want to feel like this, but every time he closed his eyes he could sense Castiel's presence and its felt good, not kind of Memorex that he felt in heavens, its felt real, and it made him happy.

Dean… - Said Sam knocking on the door, Dean hid the trench coat in the closet and opened the door after rubbing his eyes – Dean?

Sammy, Yo! – Said Dean hiding his feelings, Sam smiled

You gotta see something, Dean – said Sam tilting his head towards the library, Dean followed him, Sam had the movie cartridge on an old projector – Let me play it.

The screen began to fade in, there was a man on the screen, he was saying something, but Dean could not tell what, those old films tapes usually didn't had any audio on it.

He was embracing a woman that was way older than him. She was crying anxious for something, then he opened his wings – black and long wings - she say something while crying, he told her to go away or something in these lines, but she refused and embraced him, both blast in a white shinning explosion.

The film ends with only theirs markings in the wall, as if a radioactive bomb struck both of them.

Sammy, that's creepy! – Said Dean turning the lights on – What hell was that?!

An angel fading away – Said Sam a little concerned – I found it on our library, this guy just faded.

And why did he? – Said Dean with a drop of fear invading his mind, somehow he knew the answer

He broke Dean – Said Sam a little concerned with Dean's reaction

What do you mean dude? – Said Dean confuse, but he knew, Dean just wanted to hear it again

That angel fell on the earth… He forgot everything of his past live, but when his memories came back it broke him into pieces along the years – Said Sam trying to not hurt Dean like it hurt him

And what about the old woman, who was she? – Asked Dean trying to understand what Sam said

She was his wife; he lived with her for years after finding out – Sam paused while Dean took a seat – She refused to let him go, and died with him.

You mean both died and went to heavens, right? – Said Dean trying to stay calm

No, Dean – Said Sam resting his hand on Dean's shoulder – They both ceased to exist, it all over our records and books.

That's a lie! – Said Dean standing up and shouting – That's not possible, how can they know it for sure?!

Even if it is a lie, Dean – Said Sam trying to calm him –They are already gone;

O-of course – Said Dean, he was actually thinking about Castiel and him – I mean, we have to help Cas… Not to blow up into an H bomb.

Sam smiled and Dean sat again and continued – What broke him?

His memories – Said Sam a little unsure – I think, we don't have so many info in record regarding that.

So, what keeps it from happening with Cas? – Said Dean concerned – Sammy?

I don't know Dean – Said Sam after a pause and a pad on Dean's shoulder – Look, It's bound to happen, Cas gave up his home to help us… He is an exile Dean; fallen angels are bound to fade away.

No – Said Dean leaving the room – He won't die, Sammy, not on my watch.

Sam smiled, he knew that searching other way was the right thing to do; he turned the projector off, and thought "If both died, whose was that black feather?"

(HQ – Dean's room)

Cas, do you got your ears on? – Said Dean sitting on his bed – Cas?

A silence filled the air in his room, Castiel wasn't there Dean couldn't feel him.

Cas? – repeated him, Dean knew that this silence wasn't right – Cas? Buddy…

Nothing happened, Dean closed his eyes and whispered hoping that Castiel was listening to him – Cas, we need to talk… Please, come here dude… I need you here.

Dean opened his eyes and took Castiel's trench coat in his hands; Dean just wanted to talk with him again; Why Castiel was in silence? Something was up, but what was it? Dean walked in circles in his room, waiting and hoping that Castiel was coming, but nothing happened for the whole afternoon, the night fell and Dean walked to the kitchen.

Sam – said Dean taking a beer on his way to the living room - Cas isn't answering.

Have you tried his cell phone? – Said Sam with his notebook in his lap and glasses on

Does he still have it? – Said Dean drinking his beer

I think so – Said Sam, he was too much focused on his notebook

I hope he picks up – Said Dean making a call with his phone, it called twice and someone picked up

Hello, who is this? – Said a female voice

This is Dean, Can you put Castiel on? – Said Dean with millions of things passing thought his mind

Castiel? – Said the voice a little confuse – So that is his name… I'm sorry to say, but your friend can't talk right now.

What happened? – Asked Dean concerned, Sam realized the drastic change in his voice and stopped to look at him

He is sleeping right now, but you should come here… We are in the hospital – Said the woman, Dean took note of the hospital address and hanged up

What's up, Dean? – Said Sam resting his hand on Dean's shoulder

Cas is in the hospital… I'm going to get him from there – Said Dean taking his keys from a bowl close to the entrance; Sam didn't followed Dean, but just nodded instead.

Sam knew that Dean wouldn't listen to him anyway; returning back to his notebook, Sam kept searching about any angel's lore he could find.

(Hospital – At night)

Castiel was sleeping on a hospital bed, his face peaceful or was it the morphine's effect? Dean was allowed to see him, but he knew that he need to take Castiel from there; the king of hell had many friends and one of them could kill Castiel now that he was in this condition.

Cas – Said Dean taking the tube off Castiel and helping him to walk – I'm gonna take you home – Dean doubted himself for a second, Castiel's home was really with him? He shook his head and doctor costume from his bag.

The hospital was so full of sick people that they didn't even realized that Dean dressed as doctor was taking a patient with him though the back door; Dean rested Cas on the back sit, nothing seemed wrong with him, but by the bandages on his stomach and chest.

Dean started the car while thinking "What's happening with you, Cas?" Before taking the road he looked at Castiel's face and thought "Did I break you, Cas?"


	11. The Heavenly Patient

(HQ – Guest room – At Night)

Where am I? – Asked Castiel opening his eyes, he was laid on the bed

Dean was by his side – Cas? It's Dean – Dean smiled widely and warm, Castiel tiled his head and placed his hand on the top of it

Dean? What am I doing here? – Castiel just rested back on the pillow, his eyes closed and his voice a little rusty

I found you on a Hospital, Cas – Said Dean resting his hand on Castiel shoulder – Does your head hurts?

Yes, a little – Said Castiel opening his eyes – Is it night?

Yes, Cas – Said Dean handling a glass of water to him – Drink it up, your throat must being hurting.

Thanks Dean – Said Castiel drinking the water, he held the glass with both hands and drunk it all – I should've been healed by now.

I was thinking the same thing – said Dean taking the empty glass and placing it on the night stand – Do you remember what happened?

Dean, my head is hurting too much – Said Castiel closing his eyes, Dean rested the palm of his right hand on Castiel's forehead so he could feel if there was any fever

You've got a low fever – Said Dean replacing his hand with a wet and cold towel on Castiel's forehead – Is it helping with the headache?

Yes – Said Castiel holding the towel, with his eyes closed – I don't understand, it's like I'm…

Human again? – Finished Dean, he knew it would happen again, Heaven's had a sick sense of humor

Yes, Dean – Said Castiel opening his eyes and looking at Dean's face – We both knew that it would come to this, eventually.

So you knew? – Said Dean a little upset – What a hell Cas! – Continued Dean standing up and throwing his hands in the air – What am I supposed to do now?

Even if you knew – Said Castiel pausing and closing his eyes – It wouldn't change anything, Dean.

That's bullshit – Said Dean sitting by his side – You could have told me, I could have helped you.

Dean – Said Castiel opening his eyes again and smiling weakly – Do you think this is about fault? – Dean's eyes grew widely with surprised, how Castiel knew about it? Dean lowered his head

Who else could be to blame for your fall Cas? – Said Dean standing up, and turning his face away to the wall

Dean, look at me – Said Castiel gently, Dean obeyed like a little child, Castiel gave him the warmest smiled – If someone is to blame, then it's me… I made a choice.

Dean just stood there in silence and faked a smiled, he didn't have a reply for that, Castiel closed his eyes knowing that would be enough for now – I was healing a homeless man, and then a car hit me on the road.

When you realized heaven's cut your plutonium? – Said Dean sitting again by Castiel side, he knew Castiel was hiding something, but he didn't know how to ask it

That's not important – Said the angel handling the towel to Dean and closing his eyes in a drowse manner – My head don't hurt that much anymore.

What about yours powers? – Said Dean taking the towel and putting on a bowl in the floor

My powers still here, they've being getting weaker – Said Castiel now looking at Dean's eyes – I'm not strong enough to use any of them.

Then I'll take care of you – Said Dean padding slightly Castiel's shoulder – I will be here, Cas.

Castiel smiled and said – Thanks Dean, you've been a very good friend of mine.

Dean faked a smile again "Why do I feel hurt by Cas telling me I've been a good friend? Do I love him? I was supposed to be happy about it" Thought Dean leaving the room with the bowl and towel.

(HQ – Living Room – Still at night)

Dean – Said Sam walking in circles – Do you think it was the right call to take Cas from the hospital?

Sammy – Said Dean sitting on the couch and crossing his arms – I know it wasn't a very smart move, dude… But he wouldn't be safe there.

Are you taking about the angels or about Crowley and his demons coming after him? – Said Sam looking at Dean's face and walking towards the kitchen

Both, Sammy… Both – Said Dean a little loud so Sam could hear him while leaving the room – He'll heal as soon as his powers come back.

That's the point Dean – Said Sam walking into the room with a glass filled with whiskey – We don't know if he will get his powers back.

He'll will Sammy – Said Dean taking the glass of Sam's hand and drinking it – Thank you.

Hey, you jerky, that was for me – Said Sam returning to the kitchen

Sorry – Said Dean smiling victorious

Dean, we need to discuss that – Said Sam returning this time drinking the whiskey – We need to be ready for whatever happens.

Are you listening to yourself dude? – Said Dean resting his glass on the coffee table – Have a little bit of faith, will you?

Sam chucked – Faith? Dean, since when do you have faith?

Since I began to needed it, Sammy – Said Dean upset – Since everything we do goes wrong, and since Cas need me to have at least some for a change.

Sam shook his head and went back to the kitchen, Dean walked angrily to the guest room in silence.

(HQ – Guest Room)

Castiel slept soundly and safe on the bed, a thick blanket stood over him tracing the smoothness of his breathing. Dean opened the door slowly so he wouldn't awake Castiel, stepping softly on the floor and sitting in a chair silently to watch over him.

Dean felt weirdo at first, but while watching over Castiel he realized that it felt good like once he watched over Sam - when Sam was shorter and not so difficult to deal - Or maybe that was just his imagination, Sam was always different, even when they agreed, Sam had different reasons to agree.

Dean sighed thinking about it, was he a bad older brother? Why do he and Sam fight so much? Castiel was asleep still; he slept the whole day "Was he feeling that bad?" Dean began to doubt his decision "Was Sammy right? What if Castiel never got his powers again?"

While thinking about it Dean heard something, Castiel was mumbling something, Dean got closer to him, so he could listen.

Rachel, I'm so sorry… - Whispered Castiel with a sad expression on his face – I'm sorry… So sorry…

Dean got back to his seat and tried to recall where he heard that name before, after a long minute he remembered that a blonde woman angel that he called "Jennie" was called Rachel.

What did you do Cas? – Said Dean to himself, he could feel the angel breaking, Castiel was filled with remorse and guilty and that was breaking Dean too – Why when you are breaking its breaks me too? – Continued Dean, he wanted so badly hold Castiel now, like he did yesterday… Dean realized that all he had was yesterday memory.

Cas – Whispered Dean holding Castiel's hand softly without waking him up – Why do you keep hiding things from me? – Continued Dean closing his eyes and smiling sadly – You are just like Sammy sometimes, why can't you fully trust on me? Did I let you down, Cas?


	12. Breakfast at Dean's Place

(HQ – Guest Room – At Morning)

Castiel opened his eyes and felt a stab of pain on his ribs, knowing that he somehow was human again. Castiel turned his eyes to the chair close to him where Dean slept untroubled, he smiled finding some confront in the thought that Dean was there.

Dean? –Castiel whispered softly, he didn't want to really wake Dean up – Thank you – Continued Castiel with a softly smile, slowly he moved and stepped his right foot on the cold floor and the other.

After a deep breath Castiel realized that he could walk, but not without feeling pain, he must've broken only one rib, he was really lucky for not dying in the accident.

Cas? – Said Dean waking up a little drowse – What are you doing?

I'm walking to the bathroom Dean – Said Castiel trying to stay up, Dean rubbed his eyes and held him by his shoulder helping him to stand

You can use my shoulder as a support Cas – Said Dean walking Cas towards the bathroom – I'm here buddy.

Thank you Dean – Said Cas while coming inside the bathroom

So – Said Dean closing the door and turning his back on the door – I guess you still human, hun?

Yes, I presume – Said Castiel while washing his face and looking at the mirror

So how it's feels like? – Said Dean trying to make small talk

It's painful – Said Castiel looking at his bandage, it covered all his chest and ribs area, but it looked pretty clean – and scary.

I know – Said Dean looking at floor, he was sad that Castiel had to go through this, Castiel's words still echoed on his mind "I made a choice" Why did he choose that knowing that he eventually would become human and fade away?

Dean? – Asked Castiel drying his face with a towel, not sure if Dean was there

Yes, Cas? – Answered Dean with a hint of concern – Everything all right in there?

I'm hungry – Said Castiel with a smile in his face, it's felt completely strange to say it; He felt hungry before, but this time it's felt only natural to feel it

Come back to the Door, after getting you in the bed, I'll grab you breakfast – Said Dean knocking on the door

Castiel walked slowly to the door and Dean helped him get to bed – Thanks Dean – Said Cas with warm smile, he was somehow happy to be human or at least feel like one

Anytime, Cas – Said Dean blushing slightly and faking a cough – I-I'm going to grab some grub for you.

Dean? – Asked Cas grabbing his arm and looking at his eyes – Were you here all night?

Castiel asked him like Dean did when he was driving; Dean smiled a little embarrassed

I-I need to go, Cas – Said Dean leaving the room hiding his smile from the angel, Castiel smiled admiring the moment, knowing that Dean watched over him all night

(HQ – Kitchen – At morning)

What you are doing Dean? – Asked Sam walking into the kitchen

Cooking something for Cas – Said Dean pouring some milk on a cereal bowl

Do you call "Cereal and milk" cooking? – Said Sam chucking

Then you should help me dude! – Said Dean putting the cereal bowl in a plate – You know I'm not really good with that stuff!

Here – Said Sam filling a glass with apple juice and cutting a banana in pieces – You should pour some honey and bananas on this cereal… And pour more milk on it.

Dean sat on a chair and admired his brother cooking; Sam poured some honey and bananas on the cereal and rested the glass with apple juice on the plate, Dean watched it with a smile.

So that girl you went out taught you that, didn´t she? – Sam smiled and punched Dean slightly on the shoulder

Maybe – Said Sam with a playful smile – I'm teaching you so you can give your boyfriend a breakfast on bed.

Dean punched Sam on the shoulder while he laughed – You bitch!

You jerky – Said Sam leaving the room – I'm eating out.

Bring me some pie! – Shouted Dean while Sam left

He won't remember – Said Dean to himself, he walked to the guest room trying to keep the balance on the breakfast's plate

(HQ – Guest room – At morning)

What is that? – Asked the angel puzzled by the cereal bowl and the glass filled with apple juice that Dean just placed on his lap

It's breakfast – Said Dean with a smile – Breakfast this is Cas, Cas this is breakfast.

Castiel began to eat it – That's real good, what is this taste? Is it milk and what is this?

It's banana Cas – Said Dean sitting cross legged on the bed in front of Castiel's feet – Try the apple juice, maybe you like it, I'm not much of a fan, but Sammy likes those natural stuff.

Castiel finished his bowl of cereal and drank the apple juice – its tastes really good, now I understand…

Understand what Cas? – Asked Dean smiling, he liked this look on Castiel's face; he was really like a child, everything was new to him

Why you guys ate the apple, it does taste as it looks – Said Castiel finishing his glass off – Dean?

What Cas? – Said Dean chucking, he was entertained with his last thought

About that day, when you kissed me – Said Castiel blushing, he talked like not wanting to talk about it

O-Oh that day… W-what about it? – Said Dean feeling unquiet inside

Why did you do it? – Said Castiel whispering, he was really confused about that kiss

I-I – Dean tried to say that it was because he felt something strong for Castiel, but not even Dean knew if it was really love or not – It's complicated Cas.

What do you mean? – Continued Castiel with the corner of his mouth wet with juice, Dean smiled and with his sleeve he dried it softly, making Castiel smile shyly

That it's one of those things you'll have to figure it out, Cas – Castiel smiled confuse, he didn't knew what was that supposed to mean

Dean – Said Castiel again now feeling a stab of pain in his ribs – Can you give me some painkillers?

Of course – Said Dean taking a bottle off his pocket – Take two its maybe helps you with your ribs, Cas.

So you saw it – Said Castiel taking two pills – How fast humans recover from broken bones, Dean?

It's takes months, Cas – Said Dean padding Castiel shoulder, while Castiel made a worried face, his eyes grew wide and bluest

But who will help you guys out? – Said Castiel looking thought the window – I can't just stay here, Dean.

You'll Cas – Said Dean holding Castiel chin and making him look at him – You heard me?

Dean – Protested Castiel frowning his eye browns – There still many people to heal, and Crowley still out there looking for me.

Well, he won't find us here – Said Dean resting the plate on the floor – Just trust me on this Cas, I'll keep you safe.

Castiel smiled, knowing that he could trust Dean, but it would only put him in danger for things yet to come, Cas knew how his life was supposed to end… That was the curse of being an angel, he knew how he would die and there was only a tiny possibility to avoid it, run away from Dean.


	13. Before Sundown

(HQ – Library Room – At afternoon)

He said what? – Asked Sam with a big book on his hand

He said he knew that already Sammy – Repeated Dean running his fingers though the markings on the wood box

Why didn't he tell us? – Asked Sam taking his glasses off

He told me it wouldn't matter – Continued Dean in a calm tone – We wouldn't be able to help him.

And how come you be so calm about it Dean? – Asked Sam putting his glasses on after turning a page

I get it, Sammy – Said Dean trying to recognize some of the symbols – He was just scared, dude.

Scared? – Asked Sam a little concerned – I didn't think that was possible.

Neither did I – Replied Dean trying to hide how worried he was – But I feel like he is hiding something else.

What would that be? – Asked Sam curious – What can be worse that "fading away" after becoming human?

I don't know Sammy – Said Dean copying the markings on the box – Do you know what those markings are for?

No – Said Sam coming close to look at them – I really didn't give much thought, why?

Aren't you curious to know why in this whole deposit there's only this box made of wood and with those symbols? – Asked Dean smiling, he knew that those carvings were somehow familiar

I'll search it – Said Sam taking the book

Thanks Sammy – Said Dean folding the paper and putting it on his pocket – I'll talk with Cas, maybe he knows something about it.

(HQ – Guest room – At afternoon)

So what do you think? – Said Dean watching Castiel's looking at the drawing

It's definitely Enochian – Said Castiel puzzled – but it's modified, it was supposed to keep angels away in its original shape.

So now what it does dude? – Asked Dean curious

I don't know – Said Castiel sweating only by looking at it and handling the paper to Dean – Take it away from me, Dean.

What's the matter with you Cas? – Asked Dean putting the paper on his pocket

I'm sorry Dean – Said Castiel with a nervous look on his face – I just felt like my powers were failing even more.

What do you mean? – Asked Dean resting his hand on Castiel's shoulder

I felt… Strange – Said Castiel lying on the bed – Maybe I just need to sleep, Dean.

Cas? – Said Dean worried holding Castiel's hand with both hands – Did I let you down?

Dean – Smiled Castiel closing his eyes and closing his hand inside Dean's hand - Don't worry… I've broken the rules, I knew what would happen… - He paused and smiled – You never let me down, Dean.

Dean nodded and Castiel feel asleep, while Dean thought "I'll save you Cas"

(HQ – Shooting Stand Practice room– At Night)

Sam was focused to shoot, but for all afternoon after shooting and missing wasn't helping him.

God dammit! – Shout him putting the gun down – When Kevin will tell us about the third trial?

Sam unloaded his gun and sat on a chair, he knew he was getting weaker with each trial, but all he could do was worry about Dean. He knew too well how was like to be left behind.

Sammy – Said Dean walking into the room – Can I use your notebook; I need to download some music.

Dean?! – Said Sam surprised trying to hide the untouched target – why do you need music for?

I'm teaching Cas what is good music like – Said Dean smiling boyish – So, can I borrow it?

Yes, but no porn! Dude! – Said Sam handling his notebook – You always get some virus.

Don't worry Sammy – Said Dean taking the notebook and smiling – You know me, I always play safe.

Dean! – Said Sam trying to get hid of this mental image – Take it and go!

Dean chucked and left the room with a smile, bothering his brother was something really funny to do.

Sam stood up and decided to go check on Cas, while walking towards the guest room, he stopped to hear Castiel and Dean talking.

I'll put some Kansas on – Said Dean

Kansas like Arkansas? – Said Castiel a little confuse

Yeah, why not – said Dean chucking – They aren't like a Van Halen, but they have their moments.

Sam walked into the room, to find his notebook on Dean's lap and "Dust in the wind" playing; he smiled and sat on a chair close to them.

Dust in the wind? – Said Sam smiling – That old song?

This song is a classic, Dude! – Said Dean smiling playfully – This is awesome!

But you said they aren't like a Van Halen, Dean – Said Castiel confused – How can it be …awesome?

You'll get it eventually Cas – Said Dean smiling – Since we don't know for how long you'll be human.

Sam smiled, Dean now understood what he meant, and Sam knew that Dean was stubborn, but he was trying to manage things on his own way.

I see – Said Castiel smiling – That song is really deep… All we are is dusty in the wind?

I say it pretty lame song – Said Sam teasing Dean that looked at him with a surprised face

Don't you dare to say that, Sammy! – Said Dean tuning the volume louder – You bitch!

You jerky! – Shouted Sam chucking, Castiel made an even more confused face

I don't understand what is going on – Said Castiel while Sam and Dean laughed at him

It's ok Cas – Said Dean turning the volume down - But if you'll play cowboys and bloodsuckers with us again, Sammy will teach you how to hunt for real.

Will I? – Said Sam crossing his arms and smiling

Yes, you will Sammy – Said Dean warping his arms around Sam's shoulder – Right?

Sam sighed and nodded – Now I'm gonna leave you two alone, I got some books to read on the library.

Hey Sammy wait – Said Dean leaving the room with him – Take this – Dean Handle him the paper – Cas said it's make him weaker and it's really an Enochian sigil, but modified… Try to find out what you can.

Sam smiled and nodded while Dean returned to the Guest room.

(HQ – Guest room– At Night)

It's really fascinating! – Said Castiel like a child – I didn't know that with this notebook you could search music on internet.

Yeah, you and me both Bro – Said Dean chucking – but now is time to sleep, right?

Oh yes – Said Castiel curious – Dean, I had a Dream…

So did Martin Luther king Jr, Cas – said Dean laughing, Castiel made a confuse face

I don't understand why is that so funny? – Asked him confused

Never mind Cas – said Dean closing the notebook and padding Castiel's shoulder – Shoot it buddy!

I dreamed of my sisters… - Said Castiel with a sad look on his face – What does it means?

I don't know, Cas – Said Dean resting his hand on Castiel's shoulder – But some psychologists tried to tell it meanings, but dreams aren't true Cas.

I see – Said Castiel smiling, for the first time since he was human he stood in silence and watched Dean's smile – Thank you Dean.

Dean blushed and smiled warm, he felt Castiel's gratitude, one of his best virtues;

Why are you thanking me for Cas? – Said Dean smiling, he knew the answer, but he just wanted to be around a little more before Castiel slept

I'm thanking you for giving me a choice – Said Castiel now resting his hand on Dean's shoulder – I'm glad I've broken the rules.

Dean stood there smiling, he wasn't ready for Castiel's answer; It made him feel fuzzy and warm inside, a feeling washed over him like summer cold breeze, Castiel smile back and resting his head on the pillow closed his eyes.


	14. Prayers for Castiel

(HQ – Guest room – At morning)

Dean opened his eyes and realized that he fell asleep on the couch – Cas? – said Dean looking at the bed, Castiel wasn't there, he knocked on the bathroom door, but he wasn't there too.

Sammy! – Shouted Dean walking to the living room

Hello, Dean – Said Castiel that stood there with his trench coat on – If you don't mind I got it back from your room.

C-Cas? – Said Dean looking at the angel surprised, he could feel that Castiel was himself again – Of course not, it was yours.

Dean – Said Castiel smiling – My powers are back… but not all of them.

So did you heal yourself? – said Dean coming close and sitting

Yes – Said Castiel turning his back – Thank you – Continued the angel, he wanted to be with Dean, but his time was becoming shorter every second, Castiel smiled and his blue eyes become filled with a mix of sorrow and longing - for everything.

Wait Cas! – Said Dean trying to reach out for him, but this time he vanished – Where are you going?

Dean, you ok? – Asked Sam worried walking into the room

Cas got his powers back – Said Dean sitting on the chair

That's good right? – Asked Sam looking at Dean's upset expression – What happened?

He freaked disappeared on me, Sammy! – Said Dean resting his feet on the coffee table – I'll tell you, dude, something is wrong with him.

I know – Said Sam resting his book on the coffee table close to Dean's feet – But I maybe can answer that…

Did you find anything Sammy? – Asked Dean standing up, he was full of hope again

Yes, and no – Said Sam smiling – But we got a shot, Dean.

(Somewhere – At morning )

Castiel closed his eyes to felt the cold breeze in his face, standing in the top of the highest mountain in there, he smiled.

Is it safe for me being here? – He asked himself, knowing that if his powers were coming back again, they would come in full force and overpower him… "Meaning a big blast of energy, like plutonium, right Dean?" Thought Castiel, he opened his eyes to admire the ice and the millions of colors on the sunrise and the clouds under him like a big white carpet.

It was peaceful up there, at least he was alone again, and it was good to be alone...Nothing in there that would make him think about what would happen very soon.

Cas? Where are you dude? – He could hear Dean praying to him, it was difficult to ignore, but he knew that it was for the best, Castiel would never forgive himself if he died and took Dean and Sam with him – Cas, please… We need to talk.

Castiel closed his eyes and tried to ignore Dean's words "Why do he cares that much?" Thought the angel "And why do I care about him that much?" Castiel stood in silence, thinking about the briefly times he was human; it's tasted sort of bittersweet taste in his mouth.

He could remember Dean's lips, it felt softy like his smile "Father, what is that I feel?" Said Castiel covering his face with his hands, his body growing electrical over the clouds like a thunder, then he quieted his heart, knowing God didn't care, why was he praying again? "Old habits die hard" Thought the angel

The sun went down and the stars greeted him, shinning peaceful and hopeful for something. Castiel looked at then, reflecting upon the road until now.

What I've became? – Said Castiel to himself – Was it worth?

Castiel opened his arms and looked at the sky – I gave you everything I have, isn't that enough, Father? – He just wanted an answer; he knew if he turned to Dean now he wouldn't leave anymore, and eventually would hurt Dean again.

Father?! – Shouted him hoping that somehow God would take pity on him, but his prayers were answered with silence once again – I gave you everything, I've got nothing else to give!

Castiel looked down to the mountain and realized that he had one thing to give; he turned his back and closed his eyes while opening his arms "Please" He whispered and let his body goes down falling into the clouds under him with a smile, it was his leap of faith.

(Hq – Living Room – At night)

Sammy, are you sure that's gonna work? – Asked Dean covering the floor with a big carpet

Not sure Dean, but it's worthy a shot – Said Sam pouring some holy oil on the floor

Can I call him? – Asked Dean sitting on the floor

Yes – Said Sam with strange handcuffs – But let's follow the plan, Dean.

I know I call him, give you a sign – Said Dean standing up and handcuffing one on his hand – Then I handcuff him when he is close.

Yes – Said Sam with a lighter – Are you sure you want to do it Dean?

Yes, I want to Sammy – Said Dean sighting – He died for us a lot of times, I know is dangerous.

Dean… If something happens, thank you – Said Sam handcuffing him on a pipe close to the icebox

Stop that Sammy, everything will be all right – Said Dean smiling boyish like it was just a kid's game for him, Dean closed his eyes and continued – Cas? Where are you dude?

Castiel didn't reply to him, Sam shook his head – Do it again, Dean.

Cas, please… We need to talk – Repeated Dean still eyes closed, nothing happened, Dean opened his eyes and turned to Sam – What do I do Sammy?

Dean, you have to draw his attention – Said Sam smiling

How do I do it? – Said Dean confuse

Tell him what you really feels – Said Sam

Very funny, dude – Said Dean rolling his eyes

Dean, I'm not dumb – Said Sam after a pause –Look, I know that you two kissed.

What are you saying Sammy? – Said Dean turning his face away from Sam and blushing a little

I saw you two on the guest room, actually you kissed him – Said Sam with a know it all face

I can explain that – Said Dean sweating – It was just… hun…

It's ok Dean – Said Sam smiling – Now you must tell him what you feel, he thinks that he will end up in a big explosion Dean… Look, we need to trap him here and try to keep his vessel from exploding.

I know that is the plan – Said Dean nervous – Trap him here and use the Enochian sigils to stabilize him.

Yeah, Dean – Said Sam serious – Call him now, we don't have much time.

Ok, ok dude! – Said Dean closing his eyes again and thinking "what do I say? I've never good with words" – Cas, please… You said you've got nothing anymore… That's a lie, you got me, Cas!... I know that heavens were you home, but you home is with us now… Cas, dude – Dean paused and kneeled – Please… - He whispered – God dammit, I love you…Cas, I love you ok?

A hurricane invaded the room, the furniture was moved like an earthquake and Castiel appeared glowing like the sun, his eyes full with energy, and his face shining.

Dean? – Said he walking towards Dean, his footsteps burning the ground where it touched – I'm sorry… I couldn't help but come…

It's ok, buddy – Said Dean holding Castiel against his chest and handcuffing him, Sammy lit the holy fire and trapped him

What are you doing Dean? – Said Castiel his eyes glowing blue his dark wings emerging and consuming the roof

I'm saving you Cas – Said Dean holding him in a embrace – I won't let you die…

Dean – Said Castiel with a smile while an energy glow circled him and Dean – Why?

Because I… - Dean tried to say, but the words just got struck in his throat, he closed his eyes and it just came smoothly rolling off his tongue – I love you.

Castiel smiled softly – I'm going to kill you Dean, my power will burn you before I explode.

No you won't, Cas – Said Dean still holding him – Those sigils will keep us safe.

It won't help Dean – Said Castiel while his skin began to glow even more a bluish calm energy, Dean could feel his arms burning, but he just held Castiel tighter, Dean didn't want to lose him, he loved Castiel and realized that now – See, I'm killing you right now… I'm sorry, Dean.

Don't you dare to be sorry! – Said Dean face to face with the angel – I made my choice!

Castiel understood what Dean meant, he crossed his arms on Castiel' back and held the sigils against him – Dean – Said Castiel, Dean could feel the sadness in his voice – What you'd rather have… Loved and lost, or never had loved?

Dean realized that those sigils were slowly melting, it didn't look good, Sammy was reading a spell to contain Castiel's explosion, but it was useless so far, Castiel was fading away like a star in supernova… But he kept smiling at Dean's face his hands were on Dean's neck – Dean? – Repeated the angel, waiting for a answer

I don't know Cas – Said Dean looking at Castiel's eyes, he knew that he was done, he would die with Castiel in this explosion, what made him furious and scared

Dean – Said Castiel calm, the wind become violent, he could not hear Sam's spell anymore, a wall of light began to lift around then, Dean knew that there wasn't much time left, He understood now that old woman, she couldn't carry on without the one she loved, she chose inexistence with him over existing without him.

Dean putted his hand on Castiel's neck and smiled, he felt calm looking into Castiel's eyes;

I'd rather have you – He said pressing his lips against Castiel's lips – Cas, I'd rather have you over millions of choices.

Castiel smiled widely, his eyes glowing full of energy and his body began to burn Dean's skin, he fought to keep his consciousness – Dean, that they in the park… I wanted to ask you, something, remember? – He whispered, his nose touching Dean's cheek, Castiel fought to keep his mind from wave from there

Yes, I do Cas… What was it? – Said Dean closing his eyes and ready to embrace his death while holding Castiel, Dean didn't felt afraid for the first time, he felt safer than before even knowing that his death was certain and near

What love feels like, Dean? – Asked Castiel innocently smiling, because this time he knew the answer

Dean smiled and tears came down from his face, melting in the air like fragile clouds in the sky – You know that one Cas.

Castiel closed his eyes and held Dean in silence - Can you do something for me? – Whispered Castiel caressing Dean's hair, his longs and dark wings now were around them like a shield trying to protect Dean

Anything Cas – Said Dean holding Castiel against him, despite it being burning his skin, Dean took the pain without not even shake – Anything for you.

I've reach my full power – Continued the angel smiling – I can bend time and space… But I'm losing myself, Dean.

Cas – whispered Dean worried – What you want me to do?

Can you pray to me again, Dean? – Asked Castiel trying to keep his smile and resting his head on Dean's shoulder

Yes, Cas – Said Dean, his hands held tight on Castiel's trench coat – Pray for what?

Pray that we could start again. – Said Castiel whispering in Dean's ears – I Love you, Dean.

I love you too – Said Dean still with eyes closed, he knew that Castiel true form could make him blind, Dean felt Castiel's lips on his while breathing deeply , he lifted his face high praying that they could start again. For his sake, for Castiel's and Sam's sake, and even for the world he prayed harder, more that he wished to end his pain, more that he wished to live, even if it cost Castiel's love, they needed to start again, and maybe rewritten this bad ending.

Everything become a soundless white wave that burned him whole, but Dean held his wish whispering "That's not how it was supposed to end, Cas" what gave him strength to smile and whisper again "Cas, I'm praying ok?".


	15. Start Again

Dean... Dean... Dean? - Said Sam touching Dean's arms crossed, Dean was sleeping on the couch

Sammy? – Asked Dean opening his eyes, and looking around surprised – Where's Cas!?

Cas? – Said Sam confuse – We don't know, don't you remember, last time we saw him, there was something really strange with him.

Dean looked at Sam's face, he was confused, but he was in his HQ.

Dean? – Said Sam concerned – You know we and Cas went to rescue that angel and he become creepy as hell after it.

Oh right! – Said Dean remembering it, so he dreamed all of it? – Yeah, I just had the strangest dream, Sammy.

Sam smiled and went to the kitchen, Dean stood up, and he couldn't believe that was a dream, walking to his room feeling a little shaken, he lied on the bed, looking at the ceiling.

It was really just a Dream? – Said Dean to himself, he smiled sadly, his deep green eyes waved at the ceiling wondering if that was really a dream or that somehow Cas bended the time and space to save him once again – Does he love me? – Thought Dean worried, could this dream be a sort of vision of the future? Dean closed his eyes and smiled, if it was a dream, he somehow had Castiel with him… If it wasn't, Dean realized that maybe that love was bound to happen.

Dean looked at his nightstand like something guided his eyes; a single dark feather was resting there, as it questioning him. "Two Questions, Cas?" Thought Dean smiling, that was what Castiel told him in the dream, but this dark feather was in his dream too. What it meant?

Dean stood up and took the dark feather in his hands, its felt softy like Castiel's trench coat – Are you alone too? – Asked Dean smiling – I've got you; buddy – Continued Dean putting the feather away in the pocket of his leather jacket

Dean – Said Sam knocking on the door – Kevin called me saying something is wrong, he want us to come over Garth's boat.

I'm coming – Said Dean looking at his room one more time before opening the door

Let's go dude! – Said Sammy turning away, Dean smiled and thought "Do we start again, Cas?"

_The End_

_**Author Notes**_

_First of all, I want to thank you all my readers, it's good to share the same love we have with fanfics (and Destiel in this case), and I know I left a plot hole (The Dark Feather) that's why I'm going to post five sort stories called __**"The Dark Feather Chronic's"**__that somehow explain about it. _

_Well, that's all, if you like it leave a review, fav or follow… Anyway, I must say I enjoyed writing this Destiel fanfic as much as you all enjoyed reading and I'm always accepting suggestions for one shots and stories._

_Feel free to PM me anytime _

_Love you all!_

_**Slasher99 **_


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